I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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