On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
