how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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