is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize