Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
