Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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