its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
