You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
