come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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