Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you didnt know i had herpes?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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