WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
