omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
