who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
