i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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