she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
40s are totally the cure
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
