Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
