How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize