I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
