a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
