I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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