We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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