It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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