I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
