he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize