Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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