I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
