we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
