i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
