Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize