There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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