so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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