But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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