She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize