i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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