Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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