how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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