I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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