one word: firstdatebathroomanal
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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