how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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