YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
