How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
