Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
