apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
