in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
