Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
