Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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