If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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