i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
