And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
