Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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