she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
