How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize