so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think i got beer on your cat.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
