i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
