I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
