I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Even my vagina gasped.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
