Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
