I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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