The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
