I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
