i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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