Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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