i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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