you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
