who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
