He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
