I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
