For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
