Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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