well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
