Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So many bounce houses so little time
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
