Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
