I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize