Whod you bang
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
