U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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