I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
