How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize