Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
