Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize