Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
