he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
