Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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